PSA: I do NOT recommend consuming a liter of 100% lemon juice in less than 17 seconds (or in one sitting of any length).

I do not like eating or drinking records.

Missing sports during COVID-19? Me too, that’s why I unwisely tried this.

I consumed 200 servings of pure lemon juice (1 liter) in 16.53 seconds through a straw breaking the previous record, held by my record-breaking friend, Andre Ortolf, of 17.12 seconds.

I never actually practiced for this record with lemon juice. In fact, I only ever sucked down a full liter of water in practice twice. I did, however, practice dozens of times for the fastest time to drink a half-liter of water through a straw. The difference between a half a liter of liquid being added to the stomach in seconds and a liter is kind of like the difference between getting punched in the gut by my 4-year-old or by Manny Pacquiao. I was pretty confident I could drink the liquid fast enough. I just wasn’t going to like how it felt. The big question is if I would gag from the sour the lemon juice and be unable to swallow.

I decided beforehand I was going to drink some lemon juice to get my mouth and throat accustomed to the sour taste and acidic feel. That didn’t go as well as I hoped because it was so sour I gagged, got a raspy feel in my throat, and got the shivers.

My biggest worry was actually what might happen afterward. Would I throw up? Would my stomach be sour? Would my digestive system be able to handle it? Now that I’m reflecting on it as I write this, maybe I should have looked this one up before I tried it.

I carefully inspected the unopened bottles up-close on camera, showed the ingredients (100% lemon juice), and then opened the bottle. At first, I thought I had only partially opened the seal since only a tiny bit came out, but then I realized lemon juice is supposed to be consumed in small quantities. I carefully measured 1 liter out with four 250ml pours but apparently the larger container I was putting it in wasn’t as accurate so I ended up needed 1050ml to fill it up to that liter line just to be safe.

I measured the straw for the minimum length and maximum width and took some deep breaths to oxygenate. About 12 seconds into this attempt during the two 1 liter water practices, I felt like I was out of oxygen and wanted to take a breath. This attempt was no different. The witnesses then tasted the lemon juice to confirm it was indeed lemon juice.

After a 3, 2, 1, go I wrapped my lips around the straw and started drinking. I didn’t gag on the lemon juice and since I was in an official attempt I was dialed in and the pain and sour was far more muted than when I was just sipping on it. I had the entire contents emptied in about 15 seconds before I started slurping the last little bit off the bottom. I had to finish my final swallow and then open my mouth before the stopwatches were allowed to stop.

I opened my mouth and almost gagged because from the back of my throat all the way to my stomach was still full of lemon juice that would take several more seconds to reach my stomach. I heaved for air. I tried to talk. My voice was raspy and would be for several minutes. I asked “How’m I doing?” meaning, “Did I break the record?” but it felt more like I was asking “Am I going to throw up?” I almost did. My stomach was rapidly stretched and was so uncomfortable, I didn’t want to move. It took several minutes of standing before I could feel safe moving without risking losing the contents of my stomach. Guinness didn’t specify any length of time the lemon juice needed to remain in the stomach, but I feel like it’s in the spirit of the rules that it’s supposed to stay down.

My voice remained raspy. I needed sips of water. The witnesses joked and laughed. I tried to celebrate but it just wasn’t there. I don’t like eating and drinking records. They’re painful like running a half marathon with blisters but lack the endorphins that come with exercise and a feeling of achievement. Andre can have this one back.

An hour after the attempt, my stomach was still sour and I was still worried I might throw up. I took 3 large Tums. Two hours after I was still iffy. Three and a half hours later my stomach was so sour, I wasn’t sure I would be able to eat dinner. I was able to, but not very much. It wasn’t until the next day that I realized I was going to make it with no lasting long-term side effects.

I may never enjoy lemonade again the way I did before.

My wife broke her first Guinness World Records title! “Most t-shirts put on in one minute (team of 2)”. I really think she should have gotten credit for the fastest time to wrap a person in cling wrap as she was a major participant in that record, but alas, it was only recognized as a one-person record.

After practicing up to win the #GWR challenge for the fastest time to put on 10 t-shirts, it was only fitting (pun intended) to try on this record for size. The previous record was 31 t-shirts and since I can put on 1 in under 16 seconds, I figured we should be able to break this one.

Since it was a 2-person record, Jennifer was allowed (and required) to help me put on each shirt. She had a slick motion where she would catch the shirt coming down over the back of my neck and in one swift motion pull it down my back. She didn’t get in the way of my flailing arms, and pulled straight down so I didn’t have to worry about pulling down the back and it didn’t add too much pressure so I could pull straight down on the front at the same time.

It ended up being a bit harder than I expected for two reasons. The first is that I didn’t have enough of the easy to put on t-shirts. I had to use the ones from the bottom of the dirty laundry barrel that didn’t stretch, were too tight, were too long, or otherwise were harder to put on. The other thing that makes it harder is that once you have a bunch of shirts on, getting the last ones on is even harder. It doesn’t help to have supper big and baggy shirts either since they get caught on one another and also make me grow faster.

The biggest surprise to me though was how out of breath I was at the end. It is an absolutely exhausting minute. I’m working pretty hard to put on and pull down each shirt and as I add more, the bending becomes harder since there’s so much more resistance. And then when I’m done, there’s a ton of pressure on my chest making my lungs hard to expand. Fortunately, we pulled this one off with 32 t-shirts pulled below the waist in one minute beating the previous record by 1.

Congratulations to my wife! And thanks to Hollywood Hannon for timing, witnessing, and commentating.

***sort of… if all you wear are shirts and 10 of them on the torso.

Guinness World Records announced this morning I was the winner of this week’s #GWRChallenge.

This one was different than most Guinness World Records I break because instead of having a previous time I know I need to beat, I had hundreds of people across the globe all going for the same record at the same time. I simply needed to do my very best.

My wrists got scraped up and rubbed off my the shirts rubbing against them but the most painful injury was to the bone on the inside of my right wrist because it kept knocking against my head.

I set a goal of under 15 seconds when I first set out to break this record which proved to me just a little bit too much of a challenge with under a week to prepare and execute. In the end I got a run of 15.61 seconds which was good enough to win. I think the next best time submitted out of everyone was somewhere north of 25 seconds which surprised me a little.

I couldn’t practice for this one like most records. Usually I get warmed up and go into deliberate practice mode while in the zone. And do it over and over timing myself, figuring out what works, what doesn’t and making adjustments. However, this is an exhausing record. I get out of breath shockingly fast and start sweating quickly. The sweating is esacerbated by the fact that I’m wearing 11 t-shirts at the end and it takes longer to get them off than. One after just a few practices I’m sweating profusly. And when I’m sweating, the shirts stick to my arms making it impossible to put them on quickly. So I had to take frequent breaks and have many short practice sessions.

I had plenty of help from my family as well who wanted to get in on the action.

If you want to be a Guinness World Record’s title holder, you can participate this week in the #GWRChallenge. This wee’s challenge is for the most leapfrogs in 30 seconds. Grab a friend and check out the link below for the rules.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GWRTryThisAtHome

This record was way harder than it seemed. Jonathan and I have spent multiple sessions over several months trying to break it. Finally, during quarantine for COVID-19 and after analyzing the last 2 officially approved Guinness World Record attempts (and practicing like crazy since there’s nothing else to do), we broke it. And we broke it big.

The record was for the most table tennis balls caught in shaving foam on the head in 30 seconds (team of 2). The previous record was 22.

This record does have its controversy. The official Guinness rules state that no part of the body can cross the 2-meter line which is usually interpreted as touch the ground on the other side of the 2-meter line. I asked for clarification and they simply repeated the rule verbatim. I looked up the last 2 official record holders: Dude Perfect of YouTube fame (who got 21) and the latest who got 22.

Here are a couple images from their attempts:

Following the same interpretation of the rules Jonathan and I finally got 29 ITTF approved Table Tennis balls caught in shaving foam on the head in 30 seconds (this after I lost count how many attempts over the last several months… and the attempts are frankly messy).

After lots of practice and experimentation, we decided that gel shaving foam was no good and the $1 Barbasol was the way to go. The balls also don’t stick to the sides very well so we settled on a giant bowl to be the best strategy. The bowl had to have lips that lifted up at the edges so the balls didn’t roll off. Finally, the balls needed to settle in the foam to stay on so the bowl needed to have an inch of foam above the top of the head.

I’m so glad our wives go so much enjoyment out of this record attempt. The quarantine has taken its toll on all of us and as you can see in the video, our wives are no exception. This one was so much harder than I expected but that made it all the more satisfying when we broke it.

Here are the links to the 2 videos I referenced:

I retook the record for the fastest time to bounce 5 ping pong balls into 5 pint glasses. I first broke this record on December 31, 2018, while at dinner at the famous El Avion restaurant in Manual Antonio, Costa Rica with a time of 3.51 seconds. It was my final (and 51st) record of the year in 2018 (with a goal of 52, but I had 9 disqualified). It was since broken with a time of 2.81 seconds. I decided if I was going to take it back, I’d better do it in style.

There are several Guinness guidelines that call out the surface type, the restrictions on the cups, the spacing of the cups, the type of ITTF approved table tennis balls that can be approved, etcetera, that can quickly disqualify what would otherwise appear to be a valid attempt. Those were all taken care of ahead of time.

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The most important rules are that the hand must be flat on the surface before go and you have to call out stop and lift your hand once the 5th ball bounces into the 5th cup. Frame by frame analysis shows that go is said and the stopwatch is running before my hand left the surface of the counter. I then call out stop and the 5th ball is in the cup when the stopwatch still reads 1 second 90-something. Leaving early gives the biggest advantage evidenced by the fact that well over half a second elapses between go and the first ball getting into the cup.

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The weather was just warm enough in Boise to go outside for a one-sided water sponge fight. I can’t tell if I won or lost.

The Guinness World Record’s title is for the “Most wet sponges thrown in 30 seconds (team of two)”. They have to be dipped in water just before the throw and hit the other person fully on the face from over 3 meters away. The previous record was 36.

Fortunately, Jonathan is an excellent 2-handed thrower and he launched 54 in 30 seconds. After subtracting the misses and blows that only glanced off the face, we ended up with 43 hits that counted.

The neighbors again provided timing and witnessing from the middle of the street as there is no traffic and there was plenty of room to keep our distance.

We offered everyone to have a chance at the record if they were just willing to be on the receiving end of a wet sponge, and surprisingly enough, everyone declined!

The trickiest part is timing the blinks of the eye to close them before the sponge hits, open them after enough water is gone it doesn’t hit the eye, have time to see the oncoming sponge and move to make sure it hits the face, and then get the eyes closed again.

There is also no evidence that COVID-19 has ever been spread by a thrown wet sponge.

Stay safe.

Thanks to the Lindemood family!

Can’t go to the beach? Take the beachball to the hallway.

Jonathan Hannon and I continue the quarantine Guinness World Record attempts in the hallway series. This time for most beach ball passes in 30 seconds. We stood behind 2 lines carefully measured at 3 meters apart and used a lightweight, plastic, inflatable plastic ball with a 40+ cm diameter and passed it back and forth as many times as we could in 30 seconds.

The previous record was 68 passes in 30 seconds. It was surprisingly frustrating. A beach ball is so light that the slightest spin or an angled hit can send it shooting off any which direction. We’d be going along great and the pass would veer off and hit the ceiling, floor, or wall seemingly out of nowhere.

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My 1-year-old son also wanted to get in on the action. My wife would hold him sometimes since he always wanted the ball and one time it backfired. We were doing great and got 82 catches in one run a few days ago and thought we were done. I got home and loaded the footage on to my computer and at 29.5 seconds we noticed my son’s hand covered up the stopwatch invalidating the attempt under the COVID-19 rules requiring the stopwatch to be on camera with the other relaxed rules in place. On the last try, we finally got 84 passes to call this one good. Poor little Peter did get to hold the ball right before this attempt before passing it back to Jonathan. He then backed up and tripped over the tripod leg. This time, behind held by mom, he did not cover up the stopwatch.

After polishing off the tennis ball basket catch record we went for its sister: most tennis balls caught on a bucket on the head in one minute. The previous record was 79 and we crushed it with 98. Jonathan threw 123 tennis balls in one minute, one at a time, and between the accurate throws and my moving a little bit, we had 80% of them land in the bucket.

We started with smaller buckets and had issues with balls bouncing out to start, but between perfecting the carnival soft-touch throw with both hands and lifting the bucket off my head just ever so slightly so the bottom had some give, we were able to avoid the early balls bouncing out.

Since we haven’t seen anyone else in a few weeks and we have at least a couple more weeks of isolation, stay tuned since we’re likely to try a few more of these records before the quarantine is over.

The video says it all (and then some).

(This is the first time I’ve ever posted an unedited video like this. And no, I had no idea what he was going to say).

Fastest time to bounce 5 ping pong balls into five glasses (team of 2). Previous record: 3.16 seconds. Our effort: 2.31 seconds.