This week I went for an endurance record that seems so easy, and yet turns out to be a bit harder than you might think. It’s a pandemic, after all, and if you’re looking for a solo activity to do, there’s not much that can beat this.

YouTube video summarizing my attempt.

When Buzzfeed tried to break this record, they took multiple tries to beat the minimum mark of 5 minutes 35 seconds… and they failed when they first tried.

I broke it in January of last year with a run of 15+ minutes when Josh Horton was the holder at 11 minutes 8 seconds, but then I started goofing off. My record was broken by the official holder of this record with a run of 39 minutes 49 seconds (that appears to have actually taken place before my attempt, but was adjudicated after). Josh Horton recently did a run of 40 minutes, but he didn’t follow the Guinness rules (8″ diameter minimum for the balloons) or submit it to Guinness (presumed).

I found an open gym, pumped up 3 balloons with air, and went for it. I was sweating within 5 minutes. This wouldn’t have been an issue other than I really like to head the balloons when they’re coming down near my forehead. I probably did it 15 times during this attempt, but every time I did, I got the balloon wet which made it heavier, then the evaporative cooling would cool the air inside and shrink the balloon just a little, meaning it had a higher weight to size ratio so it cut through the air resistance faster and fell a little faster (this may have been imagined though).

I had about 1 “save” per minute during the attempt (where I had to do actual work to keep them in the air). I kept the balloons high in the air above my head for most of the first 40 minutes. When they’re up in the air, it means I have more time to react to mistakes, but it also requires raising my hands above my head a couple of times per second. Do you remember when you were a child and had to raise you had to get the teacher’s attention? Do you remember how your arm would get tired and you had to hold it up with the other hand? That was for less than a minute of hand-raising, and your arm is a lot heavier now. I also got a sore neck from looking up for so long.

After I broke the record, I relaxed a bit and kept the balloons a lower so my arms could have a break and so my neck didn’t have to tilt so far back. I had to resort to kicking the balloons up a lot more and almost 1 hour, 13 minutes into the attempt, one of the kicks was just a little too far away and the balloon sailed away from me and hit the ground. The new official record will be 1 hour 12 minutes 50 seconds.

Thanks, Steve, for sticking with me. Sorry it didn’t take 2 hours, but also maybe not sorry it didn’t take 4.